After spending many years in nursing I retired, I thought I was done working and would spend my golden years busing myself with the hobbies I had never had time to pursue. And so it went until my husband died suddenly. Then it all began to change.
Without going into all the mundane details of the grieving process and the changes that were necessary for me to get to where I am today, I have had to get a job. Since I have been out of nursing for so long that option is not available. So I have obtained my first job in retail. I was hired at my Dollar Tree as a cashier. I had never even used a cash register. Talk about an eye opener! I had no idea that cashier meant cleaning up, sweeping the floor, stocking the drink coolers, and even wiping down the rest rooms!
I cannot believe how sloppy people are. They pick things up and walk into the next aisle and just drop it onto another shelf. Or just walk further down the same aisle and just throw it anywhere. It’s infuriating. They help themselves to anything they wish to drink or munch on and put the empty containers anywhere they can find a flat surface. The theft is unbelievable! I have this undying desire to put up this sign.
Of course the powers that be would have a stroke.
Finally I know why my daughter used to complain about shoppers when she worked in retail. It is something you would not believe unless you experience it yourself.
I am setting a new record, this is my third post in as many days. I won’t get too excited because I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. You may be wondering why this is such a “big” first for me. After all, it seems like that first should be lost to my memory. I mean, how can you compare first love to this?
This is such a big first for me because I have only been in my first apartment for less than 2 years. Some of my followers may remember me posting that I had moved in back in September 2019 but I thought I would revisit this first.
My husband and I were married for one month short of 41 years. I moved into our home from the home I grew up in. So, I had never lived on my own and it was the last thing I wanted to be doing. But, God has other plans for me. He took Gary home to Him in September 2016. I stayed in the house for a couple of years but I was in the middle of nowhere and my kids were worried about me. So after the hurricane that destroyed a large part of my home I decided to sell it.
My daughter helped me find the apartments I am living in in the city. I have been making it my own since I moved in. I have to tell you though, it is a bit of a struggle, at least at first it was. I was now living away from all of the people I had made friends with. I had to change my church because I am over an hour away from it. I don’t have my quilt guild that I had been a member of since 2005. So I have become a master of adjustments.
What I have gained is my grandchildren are less than 10 minutes away and I see them several times a week. Both of my daughters are close by so we see each other more often. I can walk to the grocery store if I feel like it. I have wonderful neighbors. I can sew when I want, do my photography when I want and do nothing if I want.
I think that the biggest take away from this situation that was forced upon me is that I now know I can do it. I am happy, I am busy, and I am no longer afraid to be alone. Believe me that is the big one. There are so many benefits that I never thought of. I don’t have to compromise over the color of my furniture, or what I want to make for supper. And I get to live in the city, although it’s not a big city, where I can go to the theatre and out to dinner when I want. Something Gary would never do. I guess we get these benefits to help us adjust. Believe me, I would so much rather have my Gary back with me, but since I can’t I have chosen to accept my life as it is and be happy.
Now before you get ahead of me, let me just say that my very first boyfriend was Michael Macalusso. He lived behind me in Levittown in the 1950’s. I am trying to remember how old I was when I discovered him as a love interest. I moved away from there in 1959 when I was 8 years old, and he moved away to New York before that. So, true love bloomed when I was somewhere between 4 and 7. I have measured every boyfriend since against my first love. He was handsome, kind, generous with his toys, and a gentleman.
I remember when he was going to make his First Holy Communion. We were going to make it at the same time, but he was what we referred to as a Public while I was a Catholic. No, we were both of the Roman Catholic Faith, it’s just that Michael went to public school and I went to St. Mike’s. He had to practice after school whereas I practiced for it during my school day. I am not sure why that made such an impression on me.
We played together all the time. Our yards joined with the rest of the houses into a huge horseshoe that made the best playground ever. We never had to cross the street or even walk on the sidewalks if we didn’t want to. You couldn’t ask for a better back yard system.
In the winter our dad’s would make a big tunnel with a hut at each of our yards out of the snow. What fun we had. Today it wouldn’t fly. The dangers of such a system would prevent anyone from creating such a fun place. I feel bad that our society has become so sue conscience. Now, our dad’s always instructed us in safety practices for us to follow while we were playing in the tunnels. They also checked them each day for safety. And after a certain date we were all forbidden to enter them. The days would be getting too warm causing the tunnels to collapse. No one ever thought about disobeying our parents because we knew we would get a spanking and be forbidden to play outside again until the tunnels were gone. In the summer we had little pools in the yards and we played hide and seek, mother may I and on the swingsets.
Michael and I would spend our days playing and sharing and just talking. He was the first person I ever laid in the grass with just watching the sky to see what the clouds would form. Special times.
I often wonder whatever became of Michael. We visited him a couple of times after his move to New York, but eventually our families lost touch with each other. My heart was broken when I didn’t see him anymore. I still find myself thinking of the handsome dark haired boy who lived behind me who was my first love.
Did you ever think 2020 was going to end? It certainly was a very challenging year for us all. From having to stay home to wearing masks in public. Kids not getting to go to school. People having to close their businesses. I cannot even comprehend what so many have lost.
To add to my 2020 woes, I have had a series of falls. It has been unbelievable. In late August I had an episode of collapsing while walking my Gracie. I was talking to the dog and then I was being asked by two women if I was OK. I wound up in the hospital with a fractured shoulder. The same shoulder I fractured in Miami almost 5 years ago. Then I wore a monitor for 30 days which showed absolutely nothing. After my physical therapy I thought all of my problems were behind me.
I went along doing what I do. I got a little job which gave me the interaction I missed living on my own. Fast forward to December. Minding my own business I began getting lightheaded and falling again. Nothing serious happened until 2 weeks before Christmas. I had 6 falls in those two weeks. First hitting my head so hard that I had a tennis ball sized lump over my left eye, my left eye immediately swelled closed. I immediately had a shiner even Mike Tyson would have been proud of. Two days later, I had to take Gracie out before bed. I couldn’t take her for a long walk, so we just went up to the end of my building.
It happened again. I got a little lightheaded then went down. My daughter had just left. I immediately called her then she called 911. I had hit my head pretty hard on the opposite side. So I got the full treatment. Neck brace, back board, and off to the trauma center we go.
I used to work trauma but I had no idea what the process feels like to the patients. What an eye opener. I wasn’t in the center ten minutes when my clothes were cut off, a second line in, monitor on, full body check, and CT scan of everything. I realized that to someone who doesn’t understand the process is probably so scared.
Ok, long story short, I was admitted. On he 23rd of December, I was getting discharged when finally something showed up on the monitor. My heart rate was dropping into the 30’s. So, in comes cardiology. They cleared me to go home, but have to follow up this month. Since my discharge I have had someone with me. No driving, no walking the dog…and I have still had some spells. \
Other than that, I had a wonderful Christmas with most of my family with me. My daughter did the cooking and I was able to just sit and enjoy the kids.
As for the rest of 2020, the election in November, to say the outcome is a disappointment for me is an understatement. Sadly, the main-stream media has joined forces with the Far Left Rhetoric that becoming a socialist country is the right thing to do forgetting that socialism leads to communism. The government tells you what to think, say, and do. Freedoms become a thing of the past, and the individual owns nothing.
I think the biggest insult to me is being told by the Biden administration that I am a racist because I supported Trump. That I need to be reprogrammed. That unless I am reprogrammed I will be a useless member of society. Does any of this sound familiar?
I hope that I can keep up with this blog better than I have in the past year. I do like blogging, I just sometimes feel as if I don’t have anything of interest to anyone to blog about. I guess we all feel like that sometimes.
What a lovely day it is here. Not too warm and sunny. Gracie and I had a very nice walk this morning. Right now I am sitting with my legs propped up, Gracie is right beside me and I am sipping an iced coffee.
While I was out walking I saw a few things I wanted to photograph. When I got home I looked for my camera. I can’t find it! I have no idea where it could be. So, my Mother’s Day has been spent pulling things out of my very overstuffed quilt room trying to locate it.
My daughter was disappointed I wanted to stay home to work on my quilt room. Funny, kids don’t understand that sometimes it’s nice to just be by yourself so you can tackle a project that has been weighing on your mind. We faced timed this morning which was really nice. She was fine then.
So, I have pulled numerous boxes and bins out of that room. So far no camera. I haven’t panicked yet. But, I did ask my son to do some research on cameras for me so that I can get a new one if necessary. I really have missed my photography. I know that I am not that good, but I do enjoy it so much.
I have been looking around for some challenges like we used to have on WordPress. I remember that some people ran some on their own. I like doing challenges because it forces me to write more often. If anyone can suggest any, I would appreciate you letting me know.
Has really kicked me in the butt. I am still not in my home and I have no idea when that will change. Seems that many of the workers have left NC and gone to Florida which has left a big hole in the recovery of our state.
I have been blessed with a wonderful friend who has opened her home to me and made me feel as though I am home. I miss the blogosphere. I will return as soon as I can. In the meantime, I wish all of my fellow bloggers a very Blessed Merry Christmas.
Share Your World is hosted by Cee Neuner of Cee’s Photography. Each Monday she posts questions that are designed to get to know each of us who participate. Here are the questions for this week and my responses.
You can have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what is it?Sushi? Scotch Tape? This is an easy one. It would be chocolate ice cream. I love love love chocolate ice cream. This is the only treat I allow myself since I have gone on a Paleo diet.
Teleportation or flying? Flying for me. I enjoy the experience. I also think I would have a terrible fear of me landing at a teleportation site with parts of me missing. Who needs that? Of course, if it were a few pounds of adipose I wouldn’t mind. 🙂
Would you rather live where it only snows or the temperature never falls below 100 degrees? I would much rather live where it is hot rather than cold. I don’t do well in cold weather and I love the beach so it’s a no-brainer for me.
What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?I really appreciated that my oldest daughter was able to take me for my procedure on Friday. She is so busy with her family and I know that it is hard for her to get away sometimes. I am also very appreciative that the procedure went well. 🙂