Sitting in my granddaughter’ dance competition reading the program. THis is a picture of the inside cover. It goes right along with the first week of the 2017 Kindness Challenfe.
Wanda
Tag: #REV OF KINDNESS
Self Love
2017 Kindness Challenge, Week 1: Self Love
Wow, what a concept right? How many of us truly understand what that means? It doesn’t mean that we become narcissistic, but rather that we love ourselves by taking care of our minds, bodies and souls.
According to Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D, “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.”
It means that we give ourselves a break when things are not going right, when things are out of our control. And it means that we forgive ourselves when we are responsible for what goes haywire in our lives.
I have been struggling with the guilt and anger over my feelings of abandonment by my husband’s death, which of course he had no control over. I realize that this is a part of the grieving process in my head, but emotionally and in my heart I feel rejected and unloved. My life is changing in ways I never expected it to change. I have had to rely on my children for help in areas of my life that I was supposed to have control.
My children have stood by and let me rant. They understand that I am trying my best to get through this quagmire with some sense of self respect. My heart breaks for them too because they have lost their dad. Which adds to my guilt when my anger shows through.
I have to give up the home I shard with my husband. Preparing to move has opened up all sorts of memories of our life together. I have been going through almost forty one years of accumulated “stuff”. It’s a daunting task. I laugh, I cry, I dream. Then I have to decide what box it goes in. Trash, donate, kids, sell? I feel the guilt again and the self loathing because I can’t keep all of the “stuff” which makes me feel as if I am some how not honoring our life together.
I have days when I do nothing. I just sit and read or binge watch shows on Netflix giving in to those sad feelings. In the beginning I felt guilty about that too. But, my daughter has told me repeatedly that I deserve to withdraw once in a while and let the mess go. To recharge in any way that works for me. I am finally listening.
I do have days of clarity when I realize my husband didn’t choose to leave me. That he loved me and wanted to stay here with me. I am also allowing myself to feel the anger and sadness and not be guilty about it. I have come to realize that those feelings are just as valid as my feelings of love I have always had for my husband and family. I am working on not holding myself to task over every time I have a negative reaction to my memories.
I have set a schedule for myself with honest expectations as to what I can accomplish in a day. And if I fall short? I plan to adjust accordingly. No guilt, no self loathing. I plan to take one day at a time. To do something just for me everyday, even for just a few minutes if necessary.
Wanda
Kindness Challenge Begins
I tried to reblog this post, but it reblogged to the wrong site. I will attempt to not make that mistake again next week. So, this is a copy and paste.
Week 1| Self-Love
Attention Kindness Challenge participants!
In this post, you’ll find:
- this week’s theme prompt & exercise
- a screensaver for this week’s theme
- the reflection post prompt questions
Don’t forget to bookmark this post so you can link your reflection post here once you write it at the end of the week.
Week 1 Theme | Self-Love
This week’s kindness prompt is about self-love. Is there anything more kind than love? We often think of kindness in relation to others but we can’t forget that kindness must first start with ourselves. I want to remind you there’s nothing you need to do to earn or deserve love from yourself or others.
Loving ourselves and being able to accept love is our birthright.
This week’s challenge is going to be based on the work of Brene Brown. I absolutely love what she’s doing and the open conversation she’s having. In order to incorporate the benefits of her research and life work into our own lives, we’re going to work on cultivating our self-love. One of the most powerful parts of Brene’s message, in my opinion, is how she highlights that we don’t need to do anything to be worthy of love and belonging but we do need to believe we are worthy of it.
That makes me think of kings and queens. They don’t do anything to be deemed royal, they simply are because of the family they’re born (or married) into. That’s the simplest way I can think of to explain self-love. We don’t have to work for it, do anything to deserve it, prove ourselves, or as Brene Brown would say, we don’t have to hustle for it. I encourage you to cultivate your self-love daily. Make healing, improving, or maintaining the relationship you have with yourself a priority. The relationship we have with ourselves sets the tone for all of the relationships we are in and enter into so let’s build a solid foundation.
Self-Love Exercise-
The exercise for this week is to take note of all of the ways we think we have to earn or prove our love to ourselves. If you have a hard time, you might try to notice the times you find yourself feeling like you’re not good enough. After you’ve taken a couple of days to observe and take notes, I encourage you to come up with your own personal mantra or affirmation. Whenever you find yourself falling into the habit of thinking you aren’t good enough or deserving of self-love, repeat your mantra to yourself. Some of you might want to write it down and put it on your mirror or screen saver.
Tips on creating your empowering self-love mantra:
Another option is to create a self-portrait. It can be a photo, a drawing, a mosaic, or whatever form of artistic expression you’d like. Make sure the self-portrait is of your royal self and reflects your birthright to love and be loved. Keep this someplace you can look at it as often as needed to remind you of your birthright.
If you can think of a different exercise to incorporate, feel free to do so. 
Click here to see and download a screensaver I created to fit most smartphones.
Don’t forget to reblog or share this post using #revofkindness so we can get as many people to participate as possible!
Reflection Prompt | You pick the day to post!
At the end of this week, post your reflection. Write about what your experience was like. What did you struggle with? What surprised you? What did you learn? What will you stop doing? What will you work on? What will you start doing? If you created a self-portrait, feel free to share it if you feel comfortable. Be as transparent as you feel comfortable with your reflection, you’d be surprised by how many of your readers will be able to relate to how you feel and who you might encourage.
Use the #revofkindness tag on social media and Rev of Kindness tag on WordPress to help spread the word about this challenge.
Be sure to comment with the link to your reflection post once you publish it or link back so your post will appear in the comments.
Please visit at least two other participants’ reflection posts and leave a comment. I’m sure they’ll appreciate you taking the time to stop by and connect with them.
2017 Kindness Challenge
2017 Kindness Challenge
I love this idea so much. Challenging each other to be kind.
I hope to achieve the art of kindness in myself. To be able to see without prejudice what I can do or say to someone that will impact their day or life. To learn how to engage with strangers bridging the gap between us. To learn to be kind to myself.
One of my favorite quotes, “A word or a smile is often enough to put fresh life in a despondent soul.”
― Thérèse de Lisieux
I am looking forward to the next few weeks to see what happens in my search for kindness.
Wanda
Cookies & Moo 